Microbiologist's Twitter Thread On Lobsters Being Giant Immortal Monsters Is Legit Unbelievable

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mattstaff
Jul 13, 2019 4:00 PM EDT

There's something highly unsettling about this microbiologist's deep dive into how lobsters are basically immortal sea scorpion monsters that have immortality interwoven in there DNA. 

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  • 01
    crazy lobster fact - Text - 12K 44K labcoat lesbian NYC Pride + AC @JUNIUS 64 Jun 21 [bong rip] [exhale] lobsters made a deal with the devil for conditional immortality and it backfired on them. you cannot change my mind
    via @JUNIUS_64
  • 02
    crazy lobster fact - Photo caption - labcoat lesbian @ NYC Pride AC Follow @JUNIUS 64 all of Twitter: "would you care to elaborate on that" me: Hahahaha [adultswim.com Hahahahahahahahahahahaha
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  • 03
    crazy lobster fact - Text - t 1.6K 7.5K labcoat lesbian @ NYC Pride AC @JUNIUS_64 Jun 21 ok so basically lobsters do not die of old age. the only thing time does to a lobster is make it bigger and bigger, if environmental conditions are good this is because they have a secret molecular trick over all of us senescent rubes: constant production of telomerase
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  • 04
    crazy lobster fact - Lobster - labcoat lesbian @ NYC Pride + AC Follow @JUNIUS 64 this Grade-A Big Boy is massive- 22 lbs, easily 50 years old. but it isn't even as big as the largest lobster ever caught, in 1977- 44 lbs, estimated at 140 years old
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  • 05
    crazy lobster fact - Text - labcoat lesbian @ NYC Pride + AC Follow @JUNIUS 64 Telomeres are like shoelace caps on the ends of your chromosomes- a buffer zone, codes for nothing, keeps it from unwraveling look, here's yours, the little white spots on these human chromosomes how do these things relate to our inevitable decline into death? here's the deal
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  • 06
    crazy lobster fact - Text - t 243 2.4K labcoat lesbian @ NYC Pride AC @JUNIUS_64 Jun 21 It's one sequence, over and over, for humans: TTAGGG every time your cells divide, they lose a little bit off the end of the telomeres, which fails to be replicated. At birth your telomeres are 11,000 bases long, when you're old and gray they're about 4,000 bases long
    via @JUNIUS_64
  • 07
    crazy lobster fact - Gesture - guess I'll die
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  • 08
    crazy lobster fact - Text - labcoat lesbian @ NYC Pride AC Follow @JUNIUS 64 There's something called the Hayflick limit, and that's why you and I die When the telomeres reach a critical length, the cells just stop dividing
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  • 09
    crazy lobster fact - Text - labcoat lesbian @ NYC Pride AC Follow @JUNIUS_64 "fuck the Hayflick limit, I do what I want" is the motto of cancer, and the motto of lobsters because they produce heaps of telomerase. telomerase is a really nifty enzyme, it carries its own RNA template to build back the lost ends of the telomeres!
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  • 10
    crazy lobster fact - Text - TR 55 CAAUCCCAAUC T DNA QQGTTAGGG TERT GIF telomerase.asu.edu
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  • 11
    crazy lobster fact - Text - NYC Pride + AC labcoat lesbian Follow @JUNIUS 64 Humans make telomerase too. But we make less and less as we age. We're coded to just let senescence and death happen, and a lot of people have a lot of theories why If you've got cells that constantly produce shitloads of telomerase and never stop, you've got cancer, my friend
    via @JUNIUS_64
  • 12
    crazy lobster fact - Text - labcoat lesbian@ NYC Pride AC Follow @JUNIUS 64 as a teen I used to like Family Guy (dunk on me, I deserve it Imao) and what's funny is, in that one episode when high- Stewie asked "what if the only reason we die is because we accept it as an inevitability", he was kinda right our biology encodes death as an inevitability
    via @JUNIUS_64
  • 13
    crazy lobster fact - Text - labcoat lesbian @ NYC Pride AC Follow @JUNIUS 64 Death is still an inevitability though, whether our biology encodes a plan for it or not entropy always comes for its due, and that's what even lobsters must accept
    via @JUNIUS_64
  • 14
    crazy lobster fact - Text - labcoat lesbian @ NYC Pride AC Follow @JUNIUS 64 lobsters still lose in the very end. Telomerase tricks buy time, they will never experience senescence- the decline towards death- but it still comes at some point that point is typically molting
    via @JUNIUS_64
  • 15
    crazy lobster fact - Text - labcoat lesbian@ NYC Pride AC Follow @JUNIUS_64 Lobsters never age. they keep growing and growing and growing. but their skeleton is on the outside, and it isn't exactly flexible. They need to molt and grow a new shell once they outgrow the old one this is a very, very energetically taxing and dangerous affair
    via @JUNIUS_64
  • 16
    crazy lobster fact - Text - labcoat lesbian NYC Pride+ AC Follow @JUNIUS 64 Lobsters molt the easiest in mid-life. molting casualties are highest in the very young and the very old very young lobsters molt a LOT, because they're growing a lot- 44 molts in their first year. this leaves them squishy and vulnerable, and is quite energetically taxing
    via @JUNIUS_64
  • 17
    crazy lobster fact - Text - labcoat lesbian@ NYC Pride AC Follow @JUNIUS_64 An ancient lobster colossus may not have as many predator concerns during a molt, compared to the young'uns (still watch out for sea turtles tho) but the energy costs are what kills. Moving out of an enormous shell takes an enormous effort past a certain point they just can't
    via @JUNIUS_64
  • 18
    crazy lobster fact - Text - labcoat lesbian@ NYC Pride AC Follow @JUNIUS_64 at a certain point, the effort of moving out just cannot be mustered by their metabolism. it's done. when a mega lobster entirely stops molting, the game is drawing to a close at that point they're trapped in their shells, which accumulate parasites and bacteria
    via @JUNIUS_64
  • 19
    crazy lobster fact - Text - labcoat lesbian NYC Pride + AC Follow @JUNIUS_64 I have not been able to find research on whether it's disease or simply being squeezed in that kills in the end. I would love to talk to an actual invertebrate biologist on this stuff because it's so fascinating
    via @JUNIUS_64
  • 20
    crazy lobster fact - Text - labcoat lesbian @ NYC Pride + AC Follow @JUNIUS_64 but yeah. it's quite amusing, if silly and unscientific, to think of it in a poetic sense. It's like lobsters have made a deal with the devil, and the devil always gets his due
    via @JUNIUS_64

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